Couples Therapy
Written by Michael LeFevre
Sunday, 15 May 2011 06:21

I often hear from couples who worry that if they go into couples counseling it must mean their relationship is falling apart or doomed. Ironically, however, it is usually the couples who recognize the benefits of couples counseling who have healthy, communicative, and strong relationships.

When two people enter into a committed relationship, each person brings their life experiences – including messages they learned from their own parents’ relationship and lessons they learned from previous relationships – with them. Some of these messages and lessons serve us well, and help guide and strengthen our relationship. Others just seem to rear their ugly head over and over again, and get in the way of connecting with our partner in an authentic and desirable way.

As a couples’ counselor, my job is to help each of you discover those ingrained patterns, and eventually shift them towards something more helpful to you and your relationship. Every individual and couple has their own vision of what they would like for their relationship; as your couples therapist I help you uncover more of what you are looking for and discover the tools to help you achieve that vision.

What you can expect in a couples therapy session In a couple’s therapy session, I will help you both to express your thoughts and feelings. This may involve telling stories from the previous week, or identifying and working through bigger issues/patterns in your relationship. As part of our session, I will also encourage you to connect with one another; while I will of course listen and help guide your conversation, I will challenge you to speak to each other about what is coming up for you rather than directing a majority of the conversation towards me. And I will do my best to see where each of you is coming from, and be able to reframe or explain thoughts or feelings in a way that your partner can better understand.

Benefits of Couples Counseling Couples who work with me often say that they are better able to communicate with their partners, and while some of the old patterns are still there, they aren't as intense or powerful after talking about it in therapy. Also, many couples feel closer to one another and more confident that they will be able to ride the waves that inevitably arise in any relationship. Finally, couples often talk about understanding their partner better and being willing to get to know their partner on an even deeper level.

If you have questions or are interested in starting couples counseling, please Contact Michael for more information.  I offer a free 30-minute consultation for any couple that would like to explore the possibility of coming to counseling.